So drunk its hurt
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
