New invention idea: vibrating tampons
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
