At least make sure they are 18
Why
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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