You're completely useless in the revolution.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
