I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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