I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
