Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
