me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
