If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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