Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
