just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
