I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
