What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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