she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
