No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
