I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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