It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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