Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
