Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
