If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
