Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
