Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
if i can run in heels then i can drive
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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