Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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