I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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