is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
