I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I love having hate sex.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
My bed is full of blood and feathers
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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