So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
We are all done wearing pants today
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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