It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
