You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
