i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
