Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
