Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I need water and some morals
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize