So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
its not stalking. its research.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
