Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
