I am puke
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
