You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
