on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
