I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
