Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
