girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
