It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
