you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
