I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
