i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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