toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
It's Friday. Sex?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
