That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
