Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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