i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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