Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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