I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
