Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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