Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
