toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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