So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
