this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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