I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
