I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
