4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
