I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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