Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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