im holly from the hills drunk
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
