I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I see more hoeing in ur future
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
