oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
