it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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