that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
