drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
