I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
