It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize