scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
