The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i will never coherently bang her
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
