you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Randomize
