She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
